Struggling and finding a way out

I would like to say that this blog/commentary is very, very personal and I had fought with myself over and over again in posting it. But after talking to the Lord about it he let me know that it’s not about me and what people are going to say but helping someone else.
Here we go…we have an enemy in our lives who seeks us out like a lion waiting and ready to pick us off. He tempts us with many things that some of us give into while others don’t give into that particular temptation but you might fall into another kind of temptation. Temptation isn’t easy at all to go through you have to be willing to listen to that voice when at first glance isn’t bad because it sounds like a calm sea breeze to you. But in reality it isn’t at all it’s a voice that only tells you what you what you want to hear. Now, you only really hear this voice when everything goes wrong like for instance when the bills are due or someone has died or someone has left you or you get a shock to your system. And then you feel like God has left as well so you become susceptible to that voice.
Now, I believe we have to get out of this mindset that he looks and sounds like what people have said what he looks like. He doesn’t look like anything like the guy with horns on his head complete with pitchfork. He comes to you as an angel of light complete with the "truth" and "good news". You fight it at first because you know that’s not the voice that you normally hear. This voice is suggesting things but they have the nerve to sound good so it makes you listen more. But little did you and I know that the more you listen the more you feel something but you can’t tell what it is. So, as time goes on the voice starts saying things about you that second glance later on you realized it was saying things that put doubt in your mind. This voice will cause your mind to say and do things that seem like the right but later on you regret.
I myself have been tempted by that voice from the enemy. He came to me and said something at the time seemed like the "truth". As a result, I gave into the temptation and it felt good to me. But like not reading the about the medicine I’m taking there were side effects that put me in a haze and a daze. The most devastating side effect led me to doubt and question everything from God loving me to questioning myself. And that questioning of myself almost totally lead me to thinking and then revealing something that was not true about me. The questioning of myself I’m referring to is the spirit/sin of homosexuality and I had struggled with it for ten years. And in that struggle I thought I felt happy but in reality I wasn’t by any means. In some respect I was more alone and cut off from the Lord. But the whole reason I was in the temptation so that I wouldn’t feel alone. And boy was I alone or at least I felt alone but I can tell you this that I was never really alone. God was there I for some reason thought he wasn’t but he didn’t leave me at all just waiting got me to call on him. Just waiting for me to call Jesus, Jesus, Jesus then he did give me that peace that I thought was gone. And recently I once again I called out the Lord’s name for help and guess what he provided it for me. I am so thankful for that help because I was trying to do and go through alone and by myself. But every time I went at it alone I fell flat on my face and later on when the Lord worked it out he would say that I shouldn’t try and go through alone. The Lord was right I needed to call, rely and trust on my friends. And right now I would like to apologize to you for not calling, relying and trusting you so that I wouldn’t feel alone.
The Lord is so good because on Tuesday March 18th 2008 was a changing moment in my life because the Lord healed my mind and soul (Hallelujah, Hallelujah sorry I had to take a praise break for a moment) and he delivered me from the temptation to sin in homosexuality that nearly destroyed my life. I would like to thank God for coming in the mist of everything and not allowing to interfere. Once I stepped out of the way, sat down and shut up the Lord worked it out for me that I don’t feel like I did before. "Our God is an awesome God he reigns from Heaven above with wisdom, power and love. Our God is an awesome God," I just had to sing that song it was on my heart. Also I would like to thank the people who the Lord placed in my life and especially two people who have prayed for me and with me also shared words or encouragement and more importantly the Word of God with me. I love you so much as I would if you were my blood brother. Thank you so much and I thank the Lord for you and I pray he blesses you with everything the Lord is going to bless you with.
One final thing I like to address that is that if you are going through anything and I mean anything just call on the Lord, give it to him, get out of his way and you’ll be blessed in the end. And you’ll see your joy return stronger, wiser and better than before because you being tested me brother and sister. Oh and Satan…LISTEN YOU CAN’T TAKE MY JOY AND I WILL PRAISE THE LORD IN THE GOOD TIMES AND BAD BECAUSE NOW I WON’T LISTEN TO YOUR LIES ANYMORE BECAUSE YOU’RE A LIAR. MY EVERYTHING BELONGS TO THE LORD AND ONLY TO THE LORD NOT TO YOU. I AM NOT FOOLISH TO KNOW THAT YOU’RE JUST GOING TO GIVE UP BUT YOUR ATTACKS ARE GOING TO COME MORE AND OFTEN TILL YOU ACHIEVE YOU GOAL. BUT THEY WON’T WORK BECAUSE ALL THE TEST AND TRIALS THAT I AM GOING THROUGH ARE PREPARING ME FOR MY FUTURE.
I pray that you all be blessed and highly favored by the Lord.