I am tired…

I am tired…
I am tired…everything right now
I am tired…looking and looking and looking and not finding a job
I am tired…of being told that I don’t have a voice
I am tired…of being told that my voice doesn’t have any passion or any forcefullness
I am tired…that people tell me that I’m a pushover and let things slide by without the proper execution “revenge”
I am tired…of being looked at like that cute little boy that everyone in the family has a story about
I am tired…of being told that I’m lazy and I bust my hump for this family, church family and anybody else
I am tired…of being told that my internet friends are really some 40 year child molester
I am tired…of being asked when am I going to bring a girl to church
I am tired…of the creditors calling and trying not to cry over the phone that I don’t have their money
I am tired…of feeling so mad that I wanna walk back in the place where I was fired from and slapping the broad that did it in the first place
I am tired…of the physical pains that I feel
I am tired…of the emotional pains that I feel everyday
I am tired…of saying things that will later be used against me
I am tired…of wanting scream at the top of my lungs and still no one helping me through my pain but when you do it I’m there
I am tired…of being a best friend to you and your problems but when it’s reversed its a problem
I am tired…of worrying and fearing what my family thinks of me
I am tired…of living in fear of what others think of me
I am tired…of being told to keep everything to myself but I got to listen to you and your problems
I am tired…of having to be the rock of my family and that I have to stay as the rock because it keeps them going
I am tired…of feeling like giving up and running away to someplace new and leave all of this behind
I am tired…of wanting to punch the next person sitting next to me
I am tired…of wanting to cuss as loud as a sailor and still not feeling any better
I am tired…of always calling the girl that I like and not have her call me once and awhile
I am tired…of feeling borderline hate for some people
I am tired…of becoming almost numb to everything around me
I am tired…of my soul crying each night because everything and everybody is on my case about whatever
I am tired…of people believing God will provide for one thing and not the other
I am tired…of being alone
I am tired…of everyone else’s obsessive compulsive needs to find out every single detail of my life
I am tired…of repeating of myself day in and day out and I am literally crying on the inside
I am tired…of that the fact that people will not get this at all
See this is my voice, it’s full of hurt, pain and hurt but every day I get up say my prayers and go on with said day then either because I allow it to bother me or a design to strengthen me or just someone wanting to rattle my cage because they see me as a child or some kind of idiot.